Struggling with acceptance
by wanderingecho
Summary: Kaworu only wanted Shinji to like him back, even if it wasn't in the way he liked him. But it proved to be difficult due to Shinji's own insecure feelings and 'daddy' issues; it didn't exactly help that Kaworu was no good with this whole social/interacting nonsense either. College!AU, Manga them..kind of.


Notes: How did this even end up like this? I was suppose to be AU!College fluff, but somehow I changed so near the end I was all "Well that escalated quickly) but gfdgdf, this is suppose to have more story to it. I cut it off though, but I'll probably write more of it! anyways, Manga!Kawoshin and like I stated before; It's a College AU, so everyone is like 19? Something like that, pft. Also, excuse me if they seem ooc and what not, I'm mostly going along with manga kawoshin I've read/hear/seen (I haven't read the manga otl; ) enjoy!

Kaworu always found such fascination in everything Shinji did, but perhaps that was all due to Kaworu's NEED to be close to said boy. After all; he'd never exactly been the best with keeping long lasting relationships. Neither was Shinji for the matter, but he still had Toji, Kensuke and to some degree you could say Rei, Asuka (whenever she and Shinji weren't having one of their 'pathetic' bickers with one another that is) and even Mari. Kaworu, on the other hand had nobody—that is until he become a transfer student at the school a year earlier, becoming dorm mates with the quiet boy who'd sit in the back of the class; saying nothing, speaking to no one, his often showing little interest in anything and then the next flaming with a strange light. It was safe to say, from the very day he met Shinji Ikari: he wanted to be friends with him.

But as stated before, Kaworu lacked knowledge in keeping a good relationship with people. And he supposed it didn't help that Ikari would push him away or act like he didn't exist most of the time either, but Kaworu was determined to get his attention to matter what! And within that year they'd become closer, yet it just wasn't enough for him. Kaworu quickly became far too clingy with Shinji, forever asking the boy questions that a 6th grader would've known or just getting himself to involved with his personal business. Nowadays, Kaworu wasn't quite as bad. Mostly because he'd come to realize that the more he pushed and pushed to get Shinji to like him like he did; the more Shinji would back away from his affections. But sometimes, Kaworu just couldn't help himself.

Especially when Shinji would go have a shower after they returned to the dorm after studies, it made it harder to resist when every single day was almost the same routine. Kaworu sometimes felt like Shinji was doing this on purpose to tempt him into doing or saying something. But instead; Kaworu would find himself laying on his single bed with his arms behind his head staring up at the ceiling while he wait for Shinji to finish his shower. It was no secret that Kaworu was attracted to Shinji, months earlier he'd already started this fact to him (actually, the more accurate thing he'd done was say 'You're worthy of love' and the look on Shinji's face was a mix between "H-How do you want me to respond to that?!" and "Dude, who stole my car?!"...or something along those lines) but moments later Shinji's horrified expression turned into a cold glare, his eyes narrowing almost dangerously at him.

"You're weird."

Kaworu hated to admit it, but hearing those words from Shinji's lips hurt him more then he'd actually cared to show or dwell on, instead he become aggravated by the response which only left a bad impact on their already rocky relationship for weeks. Currently, he stood dripping with water, but it wasn't raining. Nor was he having a water fight—ok, of some sort it could be seen as a water fight, but it wasn't as if Kaworu asked for it. In fact, all he'd wanted to do was have a shower and instead it wielded up with him been 'attacked' with the shower head, because in Shinji's point of view; the opposite male was asking for it.

"Stupid Nagisa!" Shinji cursed as Kaworu flailed his arms wildly in some sort of attempt to block the water from spraying in his face. After a battle that consisted of a fair amount of cursing and struggling; Kaworu finally turned off the water by leaning his head into the shower—which next had Shinji screaming his name in grief while trying to cover his 'crowned' jewels with the shower curtain. When it was all over, Kaworu huffed in annoyance, "Why is Shinji-kun so angry?" honestly, how was he supposed to know that Shinji-kun would attack him? Shaking his head slightly, the rather emotionally oblivious man pouted in a similar way to a child. Meanwhile, Shinji continued to grip tightly at the shower curtain so not to show off any of his 'manly parts'. His pale cheeks were darkening to a stunning shade of red from both rage and embarrassment over the whole matter.

"Why do you think?! Stupid Nagisa...learn how to knock!"

With the opposite hand which he did not cling onto the shower curtain with, Shinji was close to smacking this guy on the head with the shower nozzle. Already, Shinji kept it in his palm in case he needed some way to 'protect' himself from this pervert. Shinji narrowed his eyes at Kaworu who was shaking his head slightly. This movement caused water to practically spray from the tip of his white hair.

For a moment, Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath to relax himself. The world was really against him wasn't it? In his mind he questioned why he put up with Nagisa's bullshit (_'Because you're attracted to him' _a voice had nagged in the back of his mind.) it didn't really put his mind to rest once he'd re-opened his eyes to come face to face with an half naked Kaworu, spluttering out some nonsense for the first few seconds he tried to get his brain to progress correctly once again. But at that very moment in time and space, the blood that had currently been on his face was rushing to a completely different area on his body; more specifically down south. Shinji wished that he had the skill of been able to think straight even during such embarrassing moments, but he couldn't be blamed for such a thing. after all, most of the blood in his body wasn't currently residing in brain.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Shinji near enough screeched, Kaworu just tilted his head with a raised eye brow, dropping his soaked orange shirt to the tiled bathroom floor. A disgusting slapping noise echoing throughout the room once it made contact with the ground.

"Well, It is Shinji-kun's fault I am all wet." Kaworu replied, trying hard not to somehow anger the centre of his affections more by insulting him, which would prove it be hard either way, Shinji could be such a stubborn man at times so it was difficult saying something to him without it pissing him off to begin with. Shinji huffed, he'd have been screaming some more at Kaworu right now hasn't he been use to these type of things happening. Not that it was any excuse.

"Nagisa...get out of the bathroom and leave me in peace." '_Before I kick out your teeth' _Shinji gritted through his own teeth, eye brows frowning deeply. Still focusing hard on trying not to stare at Kaworu's half naked form...ugh, either Kaworu's own homosexual intentions had rubbed off on him or he was turning into a pervert...or he was just lonely and horny...or all three. Shinji didn't know anymore, he'd basically walked into the twilight zone and there was no returning back to the simple times before he met this idiot.

"But wouldn't it be more convenient for Shinji-kun and I to shower together?" It was an innocent enough question, Kaworu never did intend to try to do such intimate things with Shinji despite how he said things in such a strange way. He honestly just wanted to take a shower while at the same time been close to his friend, but judging by the way Shinji's face was beginning to turn red again told him a completely different story.

"Pervert!"

And that's when Shinji decided it would be a good idea to smack him with the shower head, making the other make a noise of pain at the sharp pain across his skull (How could something made out of plastic be so painful?!). Kaworu rubbed his head in vain to stop it from hurting while Shinji; finally having quite enough of this shit climbed out of the shower with his back turned away from Kaworu as he quickly found a nearby towel to wrap around his waist, muttering under his breath angrily as he left the bathroom, Kaworu composing himself enough to stare after him with a confused expression that soon became one of annoyance over Shinji's attitude.

"How dare you walk away from me?!" Kaworu yelled after him, but just as he expected he got no response. Huffing to himself for what felt like the millionth time that day, Kaworu decided on taking his pants off as a slight frown made its way onto his forehead. How had wanting to take a shower turned into this? He really didn't know. All knew right that that Shinji was the one with the perverted mind to think he meant some else by 'taking a shower together'.

"Hmfp...Ikari Shinji, you are a tease." Little did Kaworu know that from Shinji's perspective, he was the tease. Oh well, Kaworu shook his head to rid of those thoughts for now as he climbed into the shower.


End file.
